Having an affair with somebody you’re deeply attracted to can be a fun and elating experience.
Of course, there’s always some risk involved.
This risk can be part of what makes the affair so exhilarating, but it’s still something you need to be concerned about so long as you need to keep things a secret.
To carry on the relationship, you need to be strategic when planning your dates and looking for the next meeting spot.
Where To Secretly Meet Your Lover
If you’re considering having an affair and looking for that perfect spot, you might have already googled “private places to hook up without getting caught near me.”
You’ve probably also noticed a routine piece of advice:
Only meet in places where you know for a fact that none of your friends or relatives will be present.
To be on the extra-safe side, you may want to take it a step further and make it a rule that you’ll only meet in places where no one you know at all will be present.
For instance, there may be a restaurant that you frequent, and even if your friends and relatives don’t, the people who work there could still recognize you. This is how rumors could start to circulate across town!
Keeping that cardinal rule in mind, here are ten secret meeting places for lovers where you shouldn’t get caught.
1. Anywhere Out of Town
The most secret places to have an affair will be anywhere outside of your home town (assuming, of course, that you’re not going anywhere where you could bump into someone you know).
For example, if you want to go out to dinner with your lover, the chances of someone you know spotting you 50 kilometers from home are minimal to none at all.
2. Business Meetings or Conferences
Do you need an excuse to go out of town to meet your lover? An out-of-town business meeting or conference would be the most believable excuse to tell your spouse or partner.
It would be even more believable if you genuinely do have a business meeting to go to instead of having to make up a cover story.
When it comes to actual private places to hookup, you can always meet your lover at a hotel near the site of the conference or meeting. Speaking of which…
3. Hotels or Motels
What if you can’t leave town and still want to meet your lover for a sexual rendezvous? In that case, some of the best places to meet someone in secret are hotels or motels. Again, make sure nobody you know will see you walking in to avoid suspicion.
4. Coffee Shops
Intimate coffee shops can be great places to meet your lover for a little pre-sex date. Just remember that they are very public places, so make sure to pick one that’s outside of your area of residence.
5. Bars and Nightclubs
The same rule for coffee shops applies for bars and nightclubs as well – they can be great places for a hot date with your beau, but they’re also very public, and you need to be careful.
Bars and clubs are both great places for a fun night out on the town, and especially if you want a more exciting environment with alcohol involved.
Casinos are always packed with hundreds of tourists at once, and the chances of you being singled out by somebody you know should be less than at a coffee shop, bar, or club. Plus, casinos almost always come with a hotel either attached or very close by.
7. Picnic in a Park
A lovely picnic in a park with your lover can be a relaxing option if you would prefer somewhere peaceful and quiet. You can buy your own ingredients to make your own romantic meals. Just be discreet about it, and think twice about choosing a park anywhere near where you live.
Very few people would likely think to find you at a concert, even if it’s in town. Just double-check the event list on Facebook first – perhaps someone you do know has marked themselves as attending.
9. Public Bathrooms
Having sex in a public bathroom may not exactly fit the definition of a romantic getaway with your lover, but it does offer you plenty of privacy! If the two of you are desperate to have sex and don’t have any other options in your general vicinity, it could work.
Last but not least, there’s always the option of communicating with your lover online when you can’t meet up in person. Again, be very discreet and avoid using text messaging or any of your regular social media accounts.
Try one of these messaging apps instead:
Telegram has self-deleting messages, and Snapchat automatically deletes all content within 24 hours as well.
Even if you can’t engage in physical intimacy, sexting can still be a good secondary option!
Some cheating sites like Ashley Madison even have messaging apps that you can use to chat or even send naughty pics!
Where to Not Have an Affair
When researching ‘private places to hook up near me’ or something to that effect, it’s just as important to consider the places you should not hookup in with your lover.
Some of these include:
Your Home or Their Home
Your home (or the home of your lover) should never rank anywhere in your list of secret places to have an affair.
It doesn’t matter if you know your spouse or partner is at work or out of town. The risk is simply too high, as you could leave behind evidence (a crumpled bed or a lover’s possession they forgot) that indicates something is up to your spouse or partner.
That’s also not to mention that you could have curious neighbors watching.
Anywhere Frequented by Those You Know
Remember, you don’t ever want to run the risk of rumors circulating around town.
This is why you must make it a rule that you will not meet up anywhere in town where you suspect or know you’ll run into people (even if it’s just the workers at a bar or restaurant that you go to often).
Take this rule seriously and form a pact with your lover that both of you will keep to it!
Final Tips to Avoid Getting Caught
Keeping things a secret needs to be your number one priority when having a romantic affair. Here are some final tips you can use to avoid getting caught.
Choose a Safe Place Where to Meet
Choosing a discreet place to meet, whether it’s for a date or to engage in sexual relations, is of paramount importance when having an affair. You literally cannot go anywhere where you have even the slightest suspicion you’ll run into someone who will recognize you.
Never Use Your Credit Card
Credit or debit cards are off-limits when going on dates with your lover. Pay for everything with cash, from a hotel room to food to drinks, and so on.
The one exception is if you’re going on a business trip (or something similar), in which case paying for a hotel room with a credit card would be safe because your spouse or partner would expect you to do so.
Always Delete Evidence (Messages, Emails, Photos)
Avoid communicating with your lover via
- social media
- phone calls
Instead, choose a messaging app where you can set up a private account, and delete the app when not in use.
If you send sexually explicit images or videos back and forth, discipline yourself to always delete them from your phone’s history immediately afterward as well.
Choose Your Sex Partner Carefully
You’re having an affair with this person. Choose them carefully!
Don’t engage in an affair with someone who
- you can’t trust
- can’t keep a secret
- is around your friends or family often
You also really need to ask yourself if it will be worth embarking on a love affair with this individual.
Guilt and shame can always set in after having sex outside of marriage or a relationship, so if you don’t feel it will be worth it with this person, it won’t be.
Follow your intuition and think carefully about whether they are worth the risk.
Always Have a Shower Before Leaving for Home
After you finish your rendezvous with your lover, always take a shower. You need to get rid of any bodily fluids or evidence that could be present and clean yourself up before heading back out into the world.
Of course, you could also turn this into an additional fun episode with your lover.
Have you ever had sex while taking a shower?
Give it a go!